23 Last Memories of Loudon's Father

Loudon's father was a major in the British Army. Around 1957 before he died, when he was terminally ill at Bexhill, he confided in his daughter-in-law Alice, who had been a nurse: "I have been told I have three to six months to live. I can't have cream or whisky. What would you do?"

Alice replied: "I'd do what you are doing now."

He said, "Thank you, my dear."

Alice says, "He drove a car, ate food, and enjoyed himself. He lived about four months longer and died at the 9th (last) hole of the golf course.

"He was walking up the slope to the last green. He put his bag down, sat down beside it, and fell asleep."

Loudon adds, "I still have his golf bag - I gave it to our son Robert. Golfers don't like schoolboys. Golfers are very anti-social."

Angela thinks: This was news to me. I'd always thought that golfing was social because you walk around in groups, unlike card playing, with poker faces. Even bridge is notorious for bad tempered bridge players, sitting in silence, stuck in wheelchairs, staring at their hand of cards, playing for money. Angel opens eyes wide in surprise. "What do golfers do that's anti-social?"

Loudon: 'Don't trespass, on my patch."

Angela: "What about bridge players?"

Loudon: "Bridge players are worse."

Alice: "My mother would not play cards.

22 Angela's Party Turn

Angela’s Party Turn

The Parkins’ garden pond has had fish and toads. For a party Angela was invited to give a five minute turn. This consisted of challenging the audience to guess whether she had three self-playing pianos inside a large tote bag. She did.

She could not play happy anniversary (the smallest piano had six self-playing tunes. So she played Happy birthday to you. Somebody in the audience had a birthday.

Angela followed this by a chat with a hand puppet frog. It nodded and agreed that the Parkins were excellent neighbours, who provided good food and drink. The family had had plenty to drink so they were in a good mood and were a good audience and laughed a lot.

Alice and Loudon also came to watch Angela perform at the talent show organised by the Moon & Sixpence pub, on the high street, where comedian Barry Cryor regularly goes to drink and socialise. Barry was going to introduce the evening and Angela was confident that the audience would be attentive and appreciative. Unfortunately, the pub discovered at the last minute that they needed a music license because two or three of the acts were singers.

The event was postponed until the following week and to a change of venue, the Lawn Tennis Club in Clonard Way. This was down a suburban street, with a hidden entrance. Torrential rain was not encouraging for the performers, supporters, audience, or parking. Parking was on the muddy field. We parked near the venue, then hemmed in by other cars. A walk across an unlit field to the clubhouse which was not open when we arrived so we sat outside until somebody with a key turned up.

Barry Cryor did not appear as originally advertised. We did not know whether he had taken umbrage or was not available because of the change of date. Angela’s first act which took place sitting down could not be seen or heard by those at the back of the audience. The organiser suggested that a volunteer needed for the act should be a child contestant, who was tongue tied so there was no jolly repartee. A final reading of a comic poem could not be heard because people were shouting drinks orders at the bar.

Angela then appreciated how important it is to have a ‘good’ audience like Alice and Loudon’s family.

Blurb About Alice and Loudon. A Summary.

Blurb About Alice and Loudon.  A Summary.

Alice and Loudon have lived in Hatch End fifty years, since March 1965. Their house is number 8, which is a lucky number in Chinese.Their gabled detached house has wisteria draped across the doorway, a front garden and a long back garden.

Their back garden has apple trees, a pond and, hidden at the far end, a fox's lair. The Parkins used to have two cats. Now they put out food for the foxes.

Loudon is keen on gardening. And DIY. He enthusiastically makes coffee.

Alice cooks in the kitchen designed by her daughter. She serves coffee and biscuits at a table in the window overlooking the garden, with the fig tree on the left and the garage on the right.

We moved next door to them in 1980 or 1981. From neighbouring houses we can often hear Loudon playing the upright piano and Alice's peels of laughter. Alice used to be busy in amateur dramatics. Loudon used to be a keen player of squash. They are still enthusiastic supporters of the local Conservative party.

Now Loudon likes to sit in the sunny Conservatory. He reads The Telegraph newspaper which he collects every morning, with the American international herald newspaper. 

He strokes his little beard and tells long stories about people they know and places they have visited, sometimes interrupted by Alice.

They are great neighbours. They do all the things good neighbours should do. In the old days they would help you jump start your car. In later times the job of a neighbour was to lend a ladder, take in a parcel or look after keys. Plus of course taking you in when you were locked out.

We are always invited in, never left standing on the doorstep. I only stand on the doorstep when they are out. In their covered porch you used to be able to stand looking at the singing frog. (Not a real English frog. Probably made in China.The real wildlife is at the back on the pond.)

They used to have a flat in Malta on timeshare, which they eventually sold after some difficulty. They love to go to America to visit the family, whose photos decorate the side tables in the living room. 

Angela Lansbury 2015

Introduction to Alice and Loudon

Alice and Loudon live in Hatch End. Their house is number 8, which is a lucky number in Chinese.

Their gabled detached house has wisteria draped across the doorway, a front garden and a long back garden.
Their back garden has apple trees, a pond and, hidden at the far end, a fox's lair. The Parkins used to have two cats. Now they put out food for the foxes.

Loudon is keen on gardening. And DIY. He enthusiastically makes coffee.

Alice cooks in the kitchen designed by her daughter. She serves coffee and biscuits at a table in the window overlooking the garden.

From neighbouring houses we can often hear Loudon playing the upright piano and Alice's peels of laughter. Alice used to be busy in amateur dramatics. Loudon used to be an enthusiastic player of squash. They are still enthusiastic supporters of the local Conservative party.

Now Loudon likes to sit in the sunny Conservatory. He reads the newspaper he collects every morning. He strokes his little beard and tells long stories about people they know and places they have visited, sometimes interrupted by Alice.

They do all the things good neighbours should do. In the old days they would help you jump start your car. In later times the job of a neighbour was to lend a ladder, take in a parcel or look after keys. Plus of course taking you in when you were locked out.

We are always invited in, never left standing on the doorstep, which we do when they are out. In their covered porch you can stand looking at the singing frog. (Not a real English frog. Probably made in China.The real wildlife is at the back on the pond.)

They used to have a flat in Malta on timeshare, which they eventually sold after some difficulty. They love to go to America to visit the family, whose photos decorate the side tables in the living room.